Love's not in the air

By Harshikaa Udasi
you win some. You lose some,” these words of Delna Pastakia, 23, managementstudent and salsa instructor, best sum up the status report on how women handle relationships. Whether she is 21 or 29, the new age woman has definitely found her voice and expresses herself vociferously. At the same time, it is surprising to see that she is also not willing to hurt her family (much to the relief of traditionalists who would rather hear a coy yes than a brash no).

Relationships do matter for the girls, but for those who expect a domesticated conformist at the other end, watch out! The new age girl is just sharpening her talons. There are enough ifs and buts involved in every statement, an argument where there was none before and a problem for every traditional solution. They think aloud. They assert their opinions. And they do as they will. At least that is the pattern most of the times.
Delna’s love for dance began when she was 16, but her parents were not too welcoming of her choice. “Obviously they were unsure of my plans. Moreover, I was an active Rotaractor which was a drain on their finances. So I decided to fund my dance education,” she says. “My parents were clueless about this.” For Delna, that meanttakingup part-time assignments that kept her out late. But she worked her way up, and four years later she became a professional salsa instructor.
When her parents found out, it came as a shocker to them. “They always thought I was far too independent and a rebel to an extent, but that their daughter had been secretly funding her dance classes on her own was a shock,” says Delna, Now, alongwith her management lessons, she is pursuing her passion and hopes to make a career of it.
Never exposed to troubles of gender discrimination at home, Delna got a rude shock after she chose marketing as her specialisation. “In my summer job with an FMCG company, I was practically demotivated daily. The sales guys would tell me that there was no need for me to get into grassroots research and interact with the retailers and distributors. Eventually, I realised it was a difficult image to break,” she adds.
Following your heart is not always an easy option for women; they may have to fight many odds at home. Greha Motaliya, 21, is doing her post-graduation in journalism, but she knows that her family will support her only till she completes her studies. “They want me to have a job with flexi-timings and journalism hardly has anything of that sort. I have no choice except to look for something that suits them,” she says. Just as she may hate the fact that parents follow different rule-books for boys and girls, she admits that her rebellion doesn’t go too far.
For some, the tug-of-war with relatives could go on for ever. Four years ago, when Shraddha Kamdar, 29, decided to take up journalism, she was single and had lost her mother. At a young age, Shraddha was put in charge of the household and she became, so to say, the lady of the house. That’s when she decided to voice her opinion. “I wanted to do what I thought would be good for me. I decided to pay for my education and move ahead. Elders of the family did not approve of my decision, and I had to snatch my freedom,” she says.
this article is published by "the week" ,a manorama publication from kerala.